A look back at 2009, and forward at 2010

January 5th, 2010

Last year I wrote, “This year, I’m going to quit trying to make everyone else happy and try to make myself happy.” I think I did that. It was a year of despair, acceptance, anger, and finally joy. But as part of my resolution in 2009, I took a look around me. At my life, at my relationships, at how we live. I made some hard decisions, some of which were easier once we found out about my pregnancy. Suffice it to say, that I am living my life more on my own terms. I’m not exactly where I want to be, but I’m certainly closer.

For 2010, we’ll have many changes. A baby! It’s still a shock. I think we’ll spend most of the first part of the year getting ready for her arrival, because we have a LOT to do. And the second part adjusting to having her in our lives. It promises to be an interesting year.

Finding out I’m pregnant as also forced me to evaluate our lives again – take stock, weed the garden, etc. I want Islay to be brought into a positive environment. I want us to have people around us we can count and depend on, and that she can depend on.

For myself, I’m going to stop feeling guilty for things I can’t control, try to give up a little of that control, but also change the things I can about my life. I think all of that will make me a better mother for Islay in the long run.

I want less clutter in our lives, and I don’t necessarily mean less stuff. For the physical stuff, we have started clearing out the house and selling items through amazon. All the money we make is going towards our baby fund. But most importantly, we are looking at the things in our house and our lives with a new eye, and clearing out things we don’t need anymore. I feel very positive about it.